Current statistics show that approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce. With such a high number of divorcing couples, a large number of children now come from broken families. Many psychologists believe that divorce does have a serious effect on children and when and how your tell your kids will have an impact on the how they grow and develop both mentally and physically. Many divorcing parents today are wondering what experts recommend in order to help their children cope with the divorce process. Countless parents become speechless or they freeze up when having this talk with their children, but communication is vital in situations like these. If you are a parent facing divorce and you are wondering what to say to your children and how to say it, here are a few helpful suggestions:
- Be honest with your children- Every child deserves to know if their parents are filing for divorce. Telling them the truth will win out in the end because honesty is always the best policy. As you explain your reasoning for the divorce, do not give them long and confusing answers. Giver your children a short and simple reason that they can understand.
- Remind your children frequently that you love them- As you sit down to have the talk with your children, be sure to that your children know how much you love them and that your love for them will not change as a result of the divorce. Share with them all the ways that you will still be there to care for them.
- Talk about the possible changes that are going to happen- With divorce, the family dynamic will change dramatically and it is important that you prepare them by explaining the changes. Your children will have to make many adjustments and you could help them through it by coming up with new solutions as you go along.
- Do not play the blaming game- Being honest and open with your children does not mean that you should disclose any hurtful acts that the other parent committed. It is vital that you do not act critical of the other parent. Nothing good comes from playing the blame game- rather it could be considered parental alienation. If you are constantly putting the other parent down, the court may feel that you are trying to turn the children against them.
- Exercise diplomacy and show restraint- When you have the talk with your children, try to present it from a united front to show that the decision was mutual. It could also be helpful to have your spouse present when you have this conversation. Be sure that you give a respectable reason for the divorce or separation and stick to that story.
- Be sure to listen and acknowledge how they are feeling- Your children are going to be overwhelmed with emotions and it is vital that you take the time to hear them out. Let them talk about their emotions or frustrations and do not dismiss them as being invalid. As their parent make sure to be understanding of their feelings and be patients with them. While you may not be able to change how they feel, you can give them constant love and reassurance.
Experts say that it is normal for children to experience feelings of anger, anxiety or depression when their parents file for divorce. Remember that healing takes time and these feelings will not improve over night, it will be more of a gradual process. If you would like to learn more about the emotional or physical side effects of divorce for children, speak with a Valencia divorce attorney at our firm today.
